What Are We Feeding?

In Flipping the Switch, John Miller writes, “What would you say if I told you I have a friend who never takes out his garbage? Instead he keeps it stored in drawers, plastic containers, and boxes. From time to time he pulls it out, spreads it on the floor, and rolls in it–for hours. I image you’d say that that would be a ridiculous, insane thing to do. Yet we all do it, in our minds. We all hold on to our garbage–thoughts, ideas, view points that close our minds and make us miserable.”

Do you ever catch yourself in stewing internal dialogues about what other people should have done? Do you ever hear yourself saying:

  • “I can’t believe she said that” or
  • “My manager shouldn’t have done that” or
  • “It’s not my fault”

From the accountability skills we’ve learned in past newsletters, we know we can chose to get out of this internal dialogue that is so hurtful to us and our relationships. We can remember to work with our own behavior rather than looking outside ourselves and blaming others.

There’s the old story about a Tibetan monk who tells his student, “It’s like I have two dogs fighting inside of me: one represents negativity, and the other beauty and positive thoughts.” The student asks, “Well, which one wins?” The monk replies, “The one that I feed the most.”

So, what are we feeding in our own lives? Are we feeding negativity, blame, thoughts about what other people should have done? Or are we feeding our power, our responsibility . . . our accountability? Because that choice of where we focus–and it is a choice–sets the tone for our entire lives.


Building a Team That Has ACCOUNTABILITY

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